A VERY SMALL, IMPERFECT GLIMPSE OF HEAVEN
Deborah Stockley, 20, was born and brought up in Christian community but made her own decision to be part of the shared lifestyle three years ago
 I was born and brought up in the community but left at 16 to move into my own place. I wanted money, drugs, drink, and relationships and wasn't really interested in God. I experienced life on that side of the coin and came out the other end with insomnia, eating problems and various addictions - basically in a state - and moved back to Dad and Mum's, broken and needing God. God's call on my life then became very clear - I think it always had been but I'd ignored it - and, three years ago, I moved into community as a member in my own right.
Lately, I've been rediscovering the ethos and principles of community and the church - like simplicity and sacrifice - for myself. It could be very easy to just take what parents and others say but I need to know for myself that it's real and what God has called me into.
Community - to me it's the end of self motivation, the beginning of God motivation and people motivation. Ultimately people are motivated by self - relationships break down because every man is out for himself. If God is there, community is a place where we die to our natural self, agenda's and plans, and - (ideally!) - live surrendered to God and one another.
Community is a place of cause mentality - something to live for, where you live life dangerously and take risks, daily dying to self, and coming to the cross.
I see our community ( now about 500 adults and 140 children) as the sacrificial core on which our church is built - 'Zion, the city on a hill, which cannot be hidden'. I think community and Zion go hand in hand.
Real raw relationships are a big part of why community works - for your heart to be known is the only way. It's a path of complete vulnerability but I find as you confess your weaknesses - you break the power and can move on in strength.
And the tensions! The tendency is to have an opinion, a hurt, a grievance and to keep it to ourselves and let it brew until it explodes! Community is a place where, within the love, we can work these things through without gaining too many war wounds.
Community makes me uncomfortable and puts me in a place where I need God and my brothers and sisters to exist - I cannot do it on my own! It is a place where I am constantly challenged - either to love more, to serve more, to do more, to pray more - this list is endless!!
Community is a very small glimpse of heaven, of eternity - an imperfect glimpse but any more and it would blow my mind!
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Glimpse of heaven
