This time I thought I could
rise and overcome
but as the septic sun breaks through
the dull cotton fibre sky
I'm still
bent double, folded over
self imploding into self
and while time takes time to pass
an echo of forever bounces back and forth
from one aching wall to another
within me
I cannot cope with forever without it
the beast that overpowers me
violates me
I hate it
I want it
my first thought I have given to you
I have sacrificed that which was
dearest - to feed you
you make my decisions
you leave me limp
disgustingly subservient
inert, save the thoughts
that crackle and flicker
painfully
along well worn mindsets
I am sick
I have reached the end
Holy Lord
how can You bear me?
I hardly dare to look at You
but I must
slowly,
in almighty silence
You come
flooding the horror
of this weird power within me
executing the most exquisite act of deliverance
in less than a touch
and in less than a breath
transform every detail
You cover me
forgive me
release me
to go and sin no more
Return to the top
Taken from "A City To Dwell In" - a collection of poems from the Jesus Fellowship, available online from the Shop.
Poetry
